1
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.Robin Williams
2
I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.Robin Williams
3
I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.Robin Williams
4
Death is nature’s way of saying, ‘Your table is ready.Robin Williams
5
I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.Robin Williams
6
Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.Robin Williams
7
Smile my boy, it’s sunriseRobin Williams
8
An alcoholic is someone who can violate his standards faster than he can lower them.Robin Williams
9
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.Robin Williams
10
Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!Robin Williams
11
Cricket is baseball on Valium.Robin Williams
12
There are no rules. Just follow your heart.Robin Williams
13
You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.Robin Williams
14
Spring is nature's way of saying "Let's party! "Robin Williams
15
Carpe per diem - seize the check.Robin Williams
16
No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.Robin Williams
17
The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend.Robin Williams
18
The idea of having a steady job is appealing.Robin Williams
19
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.Robin Williams
20
Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party! 'Robin Williams
21
A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys.Robin Williams
22
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?Robin Williams
23
I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.Robin Williams
24
Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.Robin Williams
25
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.Robin Williams
26
I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.Robin Williams
27
Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn't turn out very well - you go, 'Why did you do that?' But in the end, I can't regret them because I met amazing people. There was always something that was worth it.Robin Williams
28
The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on.Robin Williams
29
If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing.Robin Williams
30
Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.Robin Williams
31
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.Robin Williams
32
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?Robin Williams
33
I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me! ' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.Robin Williams
34
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?Robin Williams
35
When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man! ' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.Robin Williams
36
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.Robin Williams
37
People say satire is dead. It's not dead it's alive and living in the White House.Robin Williams
38
Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah.Robin Williams
39
My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly.Robin Williams
40
I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.Robin Williams
41
For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.Robin Williams
42
I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an i Pad - I think that would put a filter into the process.Robin Williams